boogaj

Blah.

That's how I feel right now. It's cold and rainy and I'm itching to get to work on the garden. Perhaps my body is craving vitamin D after the long winter because I feel completely unmotivated right now.

So I'm going to write a list. A "to do" list. Something I don't usually do, but I'm hoping it will give me some things to cross off so I feel like I'm a productive member of society.

To do:

1. Clean out my drawers, donate what I can and try to recycle the rest.  Figure out what I need to purchase.
2. Descale the espresso machine (baby steps, I tell ya).
3. Get going on the new bag.  (Perhaps I should be more specific here.  Hmmmm. . . Knit 20 rows and revise pattern as needed.)
4. Review one craft book.
5. Review one chocolate bar.
6.  Clean out one drawer in the office.
7. Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning or organizing the spare room.

Okay, I think that's ambitious enough for this week since I know there are other things that will come up -- school, an order for Stamping Online, trips to the post office and library, etc.  Here's hoping this kick starts me despite the gloomy weather.

Flu

ugh.

39

So, yesterday I turned 39 and it was a good day. It started with coffee and a donut and ended with LOST, reading and chocolate cake. There were gifts, shopping, noodles and video games in between. Best of all, Pete took the day off from work, so I was with Pete & Maddie all day. And Friday will include margaritas, chips & salsa with my mom & sisters, so the celebrating continues.

I've come to terms with my birthday and I've learned to enjoy it. (This was not always so -- it used to make me depressed.) Do you like your birthday? Hate it? Celebrate it? Hide under the covers? Just curious.

Chronic Pain & Hopefullness

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you have probably heard me talk about my chronic pain. For years I've had pain in my neck/ear/shoulder that flares up at times to the point where it consumes my thoughts, ruins my sleep and generally makes me miserable (and miserable to be around, I'm sure).

If you have chronic pain too, I'm sure you've dealt with the endless cycle of going to a new doctor, getting a new diagnosis, trying a new treatment and then being disappointed when the pain persists. Hope, disappointment, hope, disappointment. . .

After 5-6 years of this, I had really given up hope. I take a lot of Advil and try to remain healthy (working out and eating right) so my body can do as much as it can to help me keep the pain at bay.

Last week I went to the dentist and he took one look at me, did a little test and he thinks he knows the problem. He thinks a disc may have slid out of place in my jaw. I go for an MRI today.

I'm not happy -- just nervous. I refuse to let myself believe that he may have found the source of the pain because I've been in this place before -- too many times. I'm trying to be hopeful, but I just can't be at this point.

Wish me luck in the MRI -- I'm a little nervous about it because I'm quite claustrophobic and need 4 different scans of my jaw. If this shows the doctor what he needs in order to treat me though, I'm willing to try once again.

2008 -- the year of politics, remodeling and more politics.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?  I'd love to say I did something crazy like sky diving or managing a hedge fund, but no.  I think most of the new-ish things I did involved food.  I learned to make *really* good pizza in my brick oven and recently I made aebleskiver.  We also made our own soda this year --- root beer and lemon lime soda. 

Oh!  And I laid a floor and bought my first saw -- almost forgot about that!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  I don't think I made any New Year's resolutions last year, but as the year went on I decided that I had to start finishing up projects that were languishing and I did do pretty well there.

As for next year, I'm planning on doing more networking and just generally keeping in touch type things.  I'm a born introvert, so this is a daunting task.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  No -- last year was the big birth year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  No thank goodness -- had enough death in prior years.  We deserve a few good years!

5. What countries did you visit?  Again, I wish I had a good story to tell, but the farthest I got from home was South Carolina.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?  Financial peace of mind.  We were fortunate in that no one close to us lost their jobs, but our retirement accounts are looking pathetic.  I'm also looking forward to having a Democrat in the White House.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?  November 4th -- the day Barack Obama was elected -- yeah!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Hmmm. . . not really a year of accomplishments for me.  Perhaps remodeling the "little eating room" as we call it.  Or finishing Maddie's quilt. 

9. What was your biggest failure?  Nothing specific, but this year lacked creativity.  I feel badly about that and hope to be more motivated in 2009.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  No -- thank goodness.

11. What was the best thing you bought?  My new laptop -- love it.  Love the freedom of not being tied down to my desk.  Love the huge screen.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?  I wanted to start eating (and having my family eat) more local, organic, while foods.  We made progress this year on that goal and next year with the new garden, at least some of our food will be extremely local.  (Oops, now that I actually read the question, I realize that I totally answered a different question.  Oh well.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  Bush -- but that's been going on for 8 years now.  And then there is Blagojevich (shaking head in disgust).  Oh, and I can't forget Sarah Palin and John McCain (who I thought was the best of the Republican choices until he lost his freaking mind during the campaign!)

14. Where did most of your money go?  Backyard remodel -- but it was *so* worth it!  (Before and After)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  Politics -- it was an awesome year for politics and I thoroughly enjoyed watching way too much CNN and each and every debate.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?  Grapevine Fires by Death Cab for Cutie.  Check out the live video. Love this song because this is the first band that Maddie really got into. I can picture her bopping around the house singing along with the mp3 player while listening to this entire album .

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?  About the same.
b) thinner or fatter?  I probably weigh a tiny bit more, but I have more muscle (thank you pilates!)
c) richer or poorer?  Poorer -- thank you recession.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  Creating.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?  Hanging out in the office on the internet -- love the laptop.  Now Pete, Maddie and I can hang out in the same room and I can still surf, work, etc.

20. How did you spend Christmas?  With family -- eating and drinking and breaking things.  Seriously.  This holiday season I broke a wine glass, a milk bottle and a punch cup.  Ugh!

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?  I fell in love all over again -- as I do every day I look into my beloved's face.  (Oh, I'm cracking myself up here!)

22. What was your favorite TV program?  LOST -- LOST -- LOST   (Did I mention LOST?)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  As a general rule I never hate anyone.  I've been upset with people and I've disagreed with people, but I seriously can't think of one person that I can say I hate.

24. What was the best book you read?  Okay, I read about 42 books according to my blog (although I know I missed posting about some of what I read.)  I love the His Dark Materials Trilogy.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  Can't think of any.  Most played albums -- Narrow Stairs and Wincing the Night Away.

26. What did you want and get?  A healthy family.

27. What did you want and not get?  A new kitchen.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?  We watch so few films.  Favorite I saw in the theater -- Wall-E. Favorite on DVD -- Atonement or There Will Be Blood.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  Well, I turned 38 back in February which was quite a while ago.  It was a Monday, so I probably didn't do much of anything. 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  Winning the lottery?  I had a pretty satisfying year all in all.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?  Cheap is the new black.

32. What kept you sane?  Sane?  Who says I'm sane? 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  I'm not really a stargazer.  I just asked Pete and he can't think of anyone.  (In the past I've drooled over Vigo Mortenson & Noah Wylie.)

34. What political issue stirred you the most?  Women's rights & separation of church and state.

35. Who did you miss?  I always miss my dad.

36. Who was the best new person you met?  Hmmmm...  Not sure.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.  I will have another life after my daughter grows up and leaves the nest and instead of worrying about it, I'm starting to look forward to it.  For a time I was sad that she was growing up so quickly, but now I'm learning to enjoy it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.  (Politically speaking)

"You Are (The Government)"   Bad Religion
Hey sit down and listen and they'll tell you when you're wrong.
Eradicate but vindicate as "progress" creeps along.
Puritan work ethic maintains its subconscious edge
As Old Glory maintains your consciousness.
There's a loser in the house, and a puppet on the stool,
And a crowded way of life, and a black reflecting pool,
And as the people bend, the moral fabric dies,
The country can't pretend to ignore its people's cries.
You are the government.
You are jurisprudence.
You are the volition.
You are jurisdiction.
And I make a difference too.

I am a housewife.

As Maddie gets older and more independent I find myself with time to reflect on what has happened in my life and where I am going.  Lately I've been doing a lot of that and I've come to a realization that I have been denying for years. . . I am a housewife.

Sure, I have my two businesses and I like the extra income they bring.  But almost as much, I like being able to fill in that survey oval that says "self-employed" rather than unemployed, stay-at-home mom or what have you. 

And I also homeschool, which puts a spin on things, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm here -- at home -- pretty much all day every day.  (24-7 for you youngsters)

So what does that say about me, or in a broader sense society, when being a stay at home mom is something to hide?  And why would I even want to?  I love being with Maddie (I already fear the day she goes off to college -- yes I clearly have issues) and I love baking and cooking.  I love being the family nutritionist and keeping things running.  I love not having to go in to the office (but I miss it too -- especially being around other adults) and I like that I can work when I want and let things slow down when I need that.

I will say that I don't like cleaning -- I have a service for that.  But I do like tidying up and doing spot cleaning -- I like a clean sink, I'll tell ya!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have it pretty good -- whatever you want to call me.  I'm learning to enjoy myself in this roll and I really do cherish my days with Maddie.  I also know that this won't last forever.  As I said, Maddie is growing up and one day she will leave (god, that's difficult for me to write) and I will move on to the next phase of my life (which is exciting).

I always wanted to be an English Lit professor. . .

Flu!

I don't remember the last time I came down with the flu.  In fact, since I got out my tonsils a couple years ago, I really don't get seriously sick much at all.  So when I started to feel ill on Monday afternoon I was not prepared.  Whoa!  I'm feeling better now and my fever broke during the night, but I'm still weak and a bit queasy.  I suppose I'm lucky, a lot of people have been down for a week with this year's flu -- but let me tell you -- two days was enough for me. 

I just hope Maddie stays healthy -- Pete stayed home from work yesterday to take care of her, so I'm hoping she -- and he -- don't get it, yikes!

Feeling crappy

Something has got me down.  I have been getting terrible headaches, sinus troubles and general lethargy (which is aggravating my depression issues -- but that's another story).  So I'm sipping some hot tea with honey -- really wish I didn't use all my lemons last week now.  Allergies?  A cold? Am I getting my sister's sinus infection?  (No fever, so I don't think that's it.) Not sure of the cause, but I'm really feeling blah.

On a related note.  Where do you buy your tea?  I've bought mine from several places, including Adagio.  I really need to order some new loose tea now that the weather is turning cooler and I'm wondering who has the good stuff.  Leave me a comment and let me know your favorite online tea shop! 

I must have been good. . .

. . . because I got stickers.  Okay, technically the hygienist gave them to my daughter because she was so well behaved for the hour or so it took.  But Maddie gave them to me because I was a good patient.  I had root scaling and planing on one half of my mouth and I get to do it all over again next month for the other half.  Then I go back in 3 months for a follow up and polish and hopefully I'll be done for a while. 

If you haven't been to the dentist in longer than you should -- go now.  Don't wait like I did.  It got me a root canal, 3 small and 1 big cavity and all this other stuff.  Don't delay -- get yourself to a dentist and avoid my mistake!  (I feel like a public service announcement!)

What's Next?

I could show you a progress pic of my cross stitch sampler, but I have something else on my mind today -- well for the past few weeks really.

I'm wondering what's next for me. I'm at a point in my life where many paths lay before me and I feel like I just need to chose one, but I'm frozen with indecision. It's a strange feeling -- almost like there are too many choices, so I chose none. . . but time is running out and I need to make a decision because staying here at the crossroads is not an option for much longer.

Why now? Well, the past 6 months were very stressful -- we were in a holding pattern waiting to see what would happen with Pete's job and then when he knew that they were closing up shop there was the whole job hunting thing which is never fun. As it turned out, all the worrying was for nothing because he got another job right away and was only out of work for a few weeks. Now we are on a new schedule -- he's working longer hours and beginning a new phase of his career.

And I'm still here at home.

Now I'm not sitting around doing nothing. I'm still homeschooling Maddie and I have my two businesses. But Maddie is getting older and doesn't need as much help with things as she once did. And I'm losing interest in my businesses. Stamping online is almost 6 years old now and while it is going along well, It's certainly not all that exciting anymore. In fact, it runs quite smoothly and requires less and less of my time as I make refinements to my process. And it's obvious that I've lost my knitting mojo. I haven't had a new pattern out for Black Sheep Bags since last year.

So where do I go? Do I start a third business? Something new and interesting? Do I try to refocus on one of the existing businesses? Maybe I do something entirely different. I just don't know.

One thing I do know is that I need to make a decision. I feel like if I could just visualize what I want, I could make it happen. But what do I want? That is the real question.

The henna is on my hair . . .

OMG!

First of all, I wasn't prepared for the messiness of it.  If you have short hair, I think it wouldn't be so bad, but the long hair?  What a mess!!  Pete says I'll get better at it each time -- I hope so.

I ended up buying Light Mountain Natural Henna Chestnut which appears to be pretty cheap at $4.95, but you have to pay that again in shipping.  I *so* wanted to try the Lush henna, but it's been out of stock for a long time.

Wish me luck washing this stuff off.  I am very afraid!

Comfort Food

It's been a difficult week for me -- when you have clinical depression sometimes things that aren't that awful hit you harder than you would like.  I work hard to keep my life structured and secure and for the most part I am able to keep things in check.  This week caught me off guard although I'd been preparing my self for it since November.

Back in November I posted about a rough week, well one of the reasons that week was difficult was becuase it was announced that the company my husband works for was being bought out.  Now, this isn't a terrible thing -- but there was the chance that his job would disappear.  Well, this week that was confirmed.  Happy Birthday to me!  (My birthday is Sunday.)  I know that this isn't a bad thing.  We have lots of notice (his job is still there until April and the company actually told them they could job hunt during work hours) and I'm pretty crazy about saving money, so we have a nest egg.  And my husband will have no trouble finding a job -- he's so smart and good.  (Really!  Go read him!) 

But I'm a little stressed out anyway -- and I have a feeling that a bit of it has to do with my upcoming birthday.  I don't know why that would bother me either -- I love my 30's so much more than any other time in my life.  I'm so happy now and love my jobs  -- which include homeschooling my brilliant, funny daughter.

I'm neurotic.  I know it.  I try to deal with it.  How?  by baking bread, of course!

Yes, I finally decided to give the no knead bread that everyone has been talking about a try.  I have a lovely cast iron LeCruset pot that my mom got for me a couple of years ago and it worked beautifully.  (I've also been eating massive amount of chocolate -- thank goodness V-Day was last week!)

And I've been stitching:

I'm a good way through part 2 of the mystery sampler. 

So, I'm fine -- just crazy. 

* CRASH *

No quilt block today because I was in a car accident.  No worries -- I'm okay, but my neck is a bit sore and I lost an hour of my day. 

Basically I was driving down the road and another driver pulled out of a cross street right in front of me.  A police officer saw the whole thing and I was informed that I was not at fault.  Luckily I slammed on my brakes and didn't hit her that hard -- the speed limit is 40 mph on this road and there could have been some serious injuries, but luckily I was paying attention.  Maddie was in the back seat and became quite hysterical -- her shoulder hurt a bit where the seatbelt crossed it.  (We were both wearing seatbelts and she was in her booster.)

So now I have to go to the insurance agency tomorrow and the car will have to go in to the shop at some point -- thankfully it's drivable!  In fact, it doesn't look that bad at all.  (I love my Honda Civic!  Her car had to be towed!!)

Enough, I'm tired just thinking about it -- I'm coming down from the adrenaline rush and as I said, my neck is feeling a bit sore and I feel a migraine coming on.  I'm off to put on my jammies and have a peaceful evening on the couch.  I'm just thankful that Maddie is alright.

What is with the nasty people?

okay, it's the holidays. It's a little stressful for some. I have a raging headache myself today. But really people. Do you need to be nasty? Try some holiday cheer -- be good for goodness sake. I mean first I get this comment on the knitting blogs web ring:

Not really a public comment, but...is anybody monitoring the ring? I keep getting stranded because people are NOT posting their ring keys. Both MartaSchmarta (third link out from WendyKnits) and Unsympathetic (4 link out from Yarn Harlot) have been without ring keys for WEEKS and it's almost impossible to surf more than a few blogs before getting stuck. Sorry if I sound cranky--but with a waiting list to participate, I'd have hoped that the ones lucky enough to get into the ring would keep things up.

Thanks for being a problem instead of a solution! Happy Holidays to you too! (I am so glad that I'm getting rid of the ring right now -- sheesh!)

Then I just got a nasty email from someone else (business related, so I won't go into it here.) Please people! You are killing me! Why? Why? Why?

sigh. . .

Meme

Thank you to everyone who sent me good wishes.  I'm feeling much better about things.  The big piece of "bad" news will not be resolved for quite some time, so I have to sit tight -- something I am not at all good at doing.  It's stressful, especially before the holidays, but I'm feeling better about it as the days pass.  Heck, other people in this world have things much worse than me, so don't worry about me.

And the less bad piece of news -- well, I went to the dentist and I need 2 -- I said TWO! -- root canals.  Oh, and I have two other cavities that need to be filled (little ones).  It appears that one of my fillings that I've had since I was young cracked in half and that is the cause for one root canal (who knew metal could crack in half?!?)  And the other one was only visible in an x-ray -- the tooth isn't even giving me any trouble.  Ugh!  So that's the "not-so-bad" news.  (Although I'm pretty freaked out about it.)

So anyway. . . here's a meme.  I've got nothing else for you because I have tons of work to do and pretty much did family things, read and did a little work this weekend -- almost no crafting (yikes!)

You know the one -- everyone's doing it.  You answer with just one word. . .
1. Yourself: smart
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): incredible
3. Your hair: wild
4. Your mother: social
5. Your Father: gone
6. Your Favorite Item: computer
7. Your dream last night: scary
8. Your Favorite drink: coffee
9. Your Dream Car: none
10. The room you are in: office
11. Your Ex: nothing
12. Your fear: bugs
13. What you want to be in 10 years? happy
14. Who you hung out with last night? family
15. What You're Not? traditional
16. Muffins: blueberry
17. One of Your Wish List Items: Wii
18. Time: cherished
19. The Last Thing You Did: work
20. What You Are Wearing: casual
21. Your Favorite Weather: autumn
22. Your Favorite Book: many 
23. The Last Thing You Ate: scone
24. Your Life: good
25. Your Mood: quiet
26. Your best friend: BoogaP
27. What are you thinking about right now? work
28. Your car: civic
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing
30. Your summer: fun
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV? nothing
33. What is the weather like? grey
34. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday

Rough Week

Tough News on a couple fronts. I'll be back soon. Maybe I'll even do some crafting over the holiday to perk me up. At least we have sunshine and warmer weather here. (I'm trying to look on the bright side -- literally!)

A gentle reminder from my husband. . .

Not that I need a reminder -- I'm a voter and I vote (ha ha -- get it?)  But my confindece was a bit shaken yesterday.  Let me explain. . .

We have a mailman -- now known as postal carrier or something (let's all be pc -- I know!), but we really have the old fashioned, friendly, *always* on time mailman!  He walks his route through rain and storm (and what's that saying?  well, anyway -- you get the idea.)  So yesterday I went out to get the mail at the usual time and it wasn't there.  Oh!  I think to myself, it's Veteran's Day!  Which it was *not*.  Pete brought the mail in when he got home from work and said something about me not bringing in the mail and I mentioned the whole Veteran's Day thing and then I added -- So do we vote tomorrow?

Apparently, we do. 

Quiet for a little while. . .

This is the project that I'm going to be taking with me this week on my somewhat unexpected trip to South Carolina.  A very close friend of our family is in her final days and we are going to be with her so that we can say our goodbyes and hopefully make her last bit of time here a little bit more cheerful. 

The socks are for Pete and this is the third time that I have started them.  This heavyweight Socks that Rock is throwing me for a loop!  I ended up knitting them with US 4's and did 48 stitches around.  Needles to say, they are knitting up quickly at that gauge. 

I'll be back late next week, but may not be posting until the following week, depending on my level of physical and emotional exhaustion.  Please send my friend good thoughts for a peaceful and graceful exit from this world -- she was a crafter at one time too. . .

Dad, I still miss you.

Daddy + Julie
Daddy's Birthday
Nov. 1971

A better day?

I'm hopeful!  The sister is just fine.  Apparently she rear ended someone.  (I called that one!)  And I did eventually get to shower and eat ice cream last night -- yeah!  The plumber has been here again this morning (Third time in two days!) and we think the problems are all fixed now.  (Fingers crossed!)  And on top of that, Pete is going to the place with all the fancy chocolate bars for lunch, so I get a treat tonight when he gets home. 

See, things are looking up!  Heck, it's not even raining anymore!

(Remember that Seinfeld episode -- about even Steven?  -- I swear that happens to me.  Weird, huh?  Maybe, I'll even get some good mail today!  Maybe my "magic yarn ball" that never arrived will appear. ) 

A bad day

Not an awful, or terrible day.  Just a bad day.  That's what I'm having. 

So, I've been mopping up filth over and over -- and I can't shower because the drain still isn't fixed and I'm still waiting for that plumber.  The rodder was here and he thinks there was a critter stuck in the main sewer line (ewwwwwwwwwwwww).  So that part is "taken care of" which is a good thing, I suppose.  (Ever the optimist, I am!)

I just really want a hot shower and to put on my jammies and get in bed.  Maybe with a pint of Ben & Jerry's. 

Oh yeah, and I called my mom and she casually mentioned that one of my sisters "totaled" her car.  She really glossed over this somehow, so I'm assuming my sister is okay.  I have Pete on the job -- he'll fill me in.  (He rides the train home from the city with one of my other sisters.) 

sigh. . .

Wild Weekend (includes time spent in the ER)

Where do I start?  On Saturday I suppose, since that's where the weekend began.  My wrist was sore, so I did my podcast on Japanese craft books (this plays a part later surprisingly) and then tried to do some crafting anyway.  I started my quilt and nearly completed my backtack project.  That's a sneak peek up above.  Meanwhile, chef Pete when shopping and fixed a mixed veggie grill for dinner. 

Sunday I was kind of miserable because my wrist was really sore and I couldn't do any crafting.  Here I was hoping for a super crafty weekend too!  So Pete, having listened to my podcast (ah!  It all comes together. . .) suggested that we go out to Mitsuwa so I could check out the Japanese craft books and we could do a little shopping and eating. 

All was well, but on the way home Pete suddenly didn't feel well -- at all.  He was driving and I told him to pull off into the nearest parking lot.  There happened to be a Starbucks there and he ran in while I got Maddie out of the car.  I guess he nearly passed out and fell face first into a shelving unit at the back of the store, slicing open his chin.  But he has a *much* better story explaining how it happened (he's a writer, after all  :)

We drove all the way back to Joliet, went to the hospital, and a few hours later he was all stitched up and we were very tired and ready to go home. 

Needless to say, Monday was low-key.  It actually stormed here throughout the day and we just lazed around.  I actually finished my pincushion for the Pincushion Challenge!  Have you?  Remember to email me your pictures to the pincushion challenge email address by tomorrow!

Progress on the goals!

Well, it's been 3 days and I've made some progress on the goals.  As you can see I finished up the Entrelac bag -- my next Black Sheep Bags pattern and the first one to be released since last summer!  Hard to believe, but time flies!  And while I did finish the knitting on the bag and I even did the next to last draft of the pattern (yeah!), I didn't finish this. . .

The pesky handle!  So until I finish that, I can't felt it.  And until it's felted and all goes as planned, I can't declare it a success.  Fingers crossed!

I also tidied up the office a bit.  The top of the desk, some of the bulging files in the bottom drawer and I even cleared off the top of the armoire behind the desk.  The office still needs quite a bit of work though.  Small steps.

Several hours were put into the Knitting Blogs Web Ring too.  I added 30 sites and did some massive maintenance on the existing ring  (over 900 sites!)  which took a good part of one day.  Glad to have that behind me.  Whew!

Oh!  I also purchased my back-tack fabric and washed it.  And I washed all my quilt fabric -- SIX loads!  Up and down two long flights of stairs *many* times.  I was sore the next day, believe it or not.  None of it is ironed, but I figure I'll iron as I go.

So, not bad for three days.  And now I have the weekend ahead of me!  Maybe I can finally get that quilt binding sewn down. . .

Music I (We) Like

A while back I had a poll on this here blog and 12% of you were interest in hearing more about the music I was currently into.  Well, I never wrote that post, but Pete is having a Tournament of Tunes which I am finding incredibly enjoyable.  He likes music even more than I do and writes about it much better than I ever could.  Here is the commentary and here is the bracket.  You can even leave comments here to cheer on your favorite bands or songs.

Check it out!

Progress on the To Do list (and then some!)

Well, I got all the photos cut and adhered to cardstock and then adhered to the patterns.  I also got many of the (hundreds of) patterns folded.  I packed up 5 wholesale orders for Black Sheep Bags as well as some retails orders for both of my businesses.  I printed out a few pattern photo sheets -- I'll calculate the exact numbers I need and print more tomorrow.

In addition, I got caught up on listening to a few podcasts while I worked (Chub Creek, Quirky Nomads, Knitting News Cast, Irie Knits & CrochetCast.)  I also wrote a little post for whip up (which is very good because with the whole podcasting thing I felt like I wasn't pulling my weight over there recently.  Kathreen has gotten a bunch of new contributors though, so go check it out!)  And I actually just took the last 20 minutes to have some coffee and look through my red envelope.  I love the mailorder club!  I found the secret word and got my funny money and I decoded the secret messages too.  What a fun little break!

So I think the list really focused me today.  Tonight I plan to do some serious knitting on the entrelac bag.  Maybe I'll even have pictures for you tomorrow!

Goals for the week

Okay.  It's springtime and I'm feeling goal oriented.  Over the weekend we did a mini makeover on Maddie's room.  We went to IKEA on Saturday and got a new duvet cover, curtains and gauzy princess-y thing for over the bed.  Sunday we re-arranged all the furniture, vacuumed up all the dust bunnies and installed everything.  (There were new curtain rods, so it did involve the use of a drill and such.)

Today I'm thinking about what I want to accomplish this week.  Here's my plan:

Work:

• Cut out the photos that I have printed.
• Then assemble patterns with resulting photos.
• Fold patterns.  (The patterns are run through a "booklet" folder at the printer, but this is a very rough fold.  I always go over it on every pattern with a bone folder.  )
• Print up photos for orders that came in last week.
• Test out entrelac with slip stitch edge to see if it really makes much difference.
• Complete first draft of pattern for entrelac bag.
• Get a good start on, if not complete, first entrelac bag sample.
• Tidy office.

Crafting:

• Finish sewing binding on quilt.
• Make tag for quilt and sew it on.
• Order Kona cotton 1/2 yrd cuts so I can start on new quilt next week.
• Organize new projects in some way.  (Goes hand in hand with tidy office above since several new projects are piled in office.)
• Entrelac bag kind of falls under this heading too since I'll be knitting it most of the week.
• Dye the big hank of laceweight with the dye I got at The Fold.
• Rinse out the indigo dyed yarn and roving that has been hanging in the back entryway for over two weeks.

Okay, I'm looking at this and thinking it's pretty ambitious, but I also want to do another podcast.  In addition, the Migraine Pain has been back with a vengeance the last several days.  I'm really beginning to think this has to do with the weather.  Stormy weather seems to be the absolute worst for me! 

Birthday Breakfast

Yummy crossiant from Wiliams-Sonoma.  I can highly recommend these.  (Thanks for confirming that these were worth it, Rosemary!!)

I plan to spend the day crafting -- doing the homework for my quilting class, playing with the goodies in my red envelope and perhaps even doing some spinning.  If we have time we may do a bit of thrifting -- I hear a new shop opened up in our town.  And tonight -- dinner out with Pete. 

Oh goodness it's after 11am and I'm still in my jammies.  Better get going if I want to fit in all this fun!

Conversation with my Mom. . .

Mom (on phone): Do you have any punk stuff?
Me: Punk stuff?
Mom:  Yeah, like punk clothes?
Me: Mom, I shop at the Gap.
Mom:  Do you still have your Doc Martens?
Me: Why are you asking me this?
Mom:  I'm going to a party and I want to dress like a punk (said in a perky tone!)

Okay -- so 15 years ago I used to go to a lot of punk shows and my head was partially shaved and the rest of my hair was dyed purple, but now I'm like a soccer mom -- seriously.

The boy knows what I like. . .

I have to leave it to Pete, he knows what I like! For Valentine's Day this year he brought home some lovely Godiva chocolates and Super Crafty.

I haven't had a chance to *do* any of the crafts in the book yet, but it's packed with all kinds of ideas, tips and tricks! I can't wait to get started. And as usual. . . a full review will be forthcoming. . .

Struggle for Balance (or the confessions of an overachiever)

I'm just going to spew some stuff out here about what I've been struggling with lately -- the lack of balance in my life.

This is nothing new really.  I've been like this for as long as I can remember.  Maybe it's the oldest child syndrome or something.  When I started working I worked the extra shifts -- 60, 70, 80 hours a week in the summer -- no problem!  When it came down to choosing a major my second semester junior year, I choose English lit.  Reading several novels a week and writing dozens of papers a semester so that I could graduate on time wouldn't be a problem, right?  (It wasn't -- I even made Dean's list all those semesters.)  Then after college -- I got a job at a big corporation and of course I gave my life to them.  I worked nights, weekends, at the end I even worked in New York despite the fact that I lived in Chicago.  (Yeah -- I flew there every week and lived in a hotel.)  While working there I was promoted over and over and got all the awards and took on all the special projects.

Are you getting the picture here? 

And it isn't much better in other areas of my life.  I read voraciously -- I craft voraciously -- I know how to make homebaked bread!  My sister's used to call me Martha (you can guess why).  It's just all too much!

So here I am after over working myself all last week.  Then Saturday I put in probably 6 hours of work and was stopped only by the fact that we had dinner plans up in the city.  Despite the fact that we got home at almost 2am, I got up at 8am Sunday morning and put in 11 hours of work.  *It's. . .happening. . . again*

I have to find balance.  You can see that this has been a problem throughout my life though.  Pete says that I don't know how to relax and it is true!  But even I have reached my limit!!!

I have orders piling up for Black Sheep Bags and I have over 100 sites for the webring in the queue (when I checked a few days ago -- I'm scared to check now).  I want to craft!  I want to come up with new designs for Black Sheep Bags -- I have design ideas and no time to try them out!

This is why I have migraines -- I can see that now.  So I'm going to be making some changes.  I have to -- I have my family to think about. 

Okay -- still with me?  I don't believe it!  Here are things I actually want to find time to do:

1. More weekend fun activities with Pete & Maddie.
2. More weekday fun activities with Maddie.
3. More crafting -- sewing, spinning, knitting, etc.
4. More designing for Black Sheep Bags.
5. More baking & cooking.
6. More plain old sitting in front of the TV or laying in bed with a book vegging out!

So I know that I have to re-design my patterns so that they can be printed by a small press -- no more printing photos, cutting them out, gluing them to backing paper and then to patterns.  This takes *forever* and I can't keep up with demand -- I'm 3-4 weeks out on shop orders right now.  That's just not good!  That's just one change though -- I need more.

So, I'm working on finding balance.  I was doing pretty good for a while -- stopping work at 5 or 6pm, but I've let that slip.  No more!  I need to get back on track.  I know that this is an issue with me and I just have to start putting effort into it. 

Balance is a good thing.

Where have I been?

The holidays hit me hard this year.  I've had terrible migraines for a good part of December.  So now I'm just trying to get caught up on work and playing a lot of this:

Very little energy left for reading or knitting or anything really (hence the video gaming).  Hopefully I'll be back to my old self soon and have something more interesting to post!

Thanks for the Cold Remedies!

Thank you everyone for the great cold remedies!  I've been sipping tea with honey and lemon and getting rest and I'm feeling a little bit better -- but very tired.  The trip for tomorrow has been canceled and rescheduled for later this month.  Maddie was very grown up and understanding. 

I'm going to try many of the things that were recommended!  Although it appears that some of the best remedies need to be taken at the very first sign of a cold which was Sunday -- missed the boat there. 

Speaking of remedies -- you can't get cold medicine off the shelf anymore.  Darn meth lab people.  I had to wait in line at the pharmacy as if I were getting a prescription -- doesn't seem like a very good use of a pharmacists time, but I guess it has to be done.

Time to go lay in bed again and veg out. . .

I'm sick -- have a remedy?

I guess I should have seen this coming.  I've always had a pathetic immune system.  Someone sneezes around me and next thing you know I have a cold.  (Unlike Pete -- thank goodness Maddie has his genes when it comes to this!)

So anyway, I guess having surgery probably weakened it a bit more. . . then the freezing cold weather arrived. . . and the busyness of the holiday season. . . and now I have a nasty little cold.  We are planning to go to Marshall Field's to eat by the big tree in the Walnut Room tomorrow and I feel like, well you know what I feel like.

So tell me your remedies!  Your quick fixes!  What you do to get you through when you have the sniffles, a sore throat and are oh so tired.  I need help here people!  I have a 5 year old that I do not want to disappoint! 

Holiday Gift Ideas!

First of all -- I'm feeling better -- YEAH!!!  Hopefully I'll be tip-top for Thanksgiving dinner at my Mom's next week.  After losing 5 lbs in the last week & a half, I'm really looking forward to her sweet potatoes and stuffing -- yum!

I also wanted to let you know that I'm going to be posting a couple of reviews over at Two Friends Collect Books in the next few days. 

And finally I'm going to tell you what I bought Maddie, Landon and Savana for the holidays.

For Maddie, who is a 5 year old, I bought this super cool pop-up book:

For Landon, who is a 5 1/2 year old boy, I bought this super cool pop-up book:

And for Savana, my cute little niece who is only 6 months old I bought a Sandra Boynton book.  Maddie, Pete & I love her books!

What else is a book lover such as myself going to get all the little ones in the family  :)

I'm going to try to think up cool gift ideas for all ages and post them here throughout the holiday season!

Oh yeah!  The princess hat and Baby Booga Bag are dry!  They just need a little shave and they'll be ready for a photo session.  More on that this weekend hopefully!

I'm feeling better!

Thank you for all the nice emails and comments! My throat is pretty darn sore, but I'm up and about and feeling better than I thought I would be feeling at this point. I've even been knitting -- nothing too complicated, mind you. Codeine is great stuff, but it doesn't lend itself to the highest level of brain activity :)

Up and Down

I feel like I'm manic depressive these days.  One hour up, one hour down.  Today I had an appointment with a neurologist who diagnosed me with migraines.  He seems like a great guy and he shares my philosophy on medication -- only in moderation and only when lifestyle changes won't do the trick -- so I was really up after that.  Then I had a pre-surgery visit with another doctor.  Followed by a visit with the surgical consultant and down I went.  I know it's just a minor surgery, but I was once again reminded of how painful this will be.  I'm sure that has me stressed.

So I guess I'm all over the charts.  I'm really looking forward to the holidays (for a change) because that means that the worst of this will be behind me.  The tonsils will be out, I'll have a handle on the migraines (hopefully!) and life should settle down.  (During the holidays?  What am I thinking?)

I did start a new knitting project and I'll take pictures as soon as I'm a little farther along and it actually looks like something.  I will say this though, it's for Maddie, it's magenta and it's from New Knits on the Block.  Any guesses?

Feeling better

First of all, thank you for all the wonderful comments!  I know there are a lot of other people out there who go through this too and sometimes it helps to hear that you are not alone.

The walk helped.  Exercise, sunshine -- both good for combating depression. 

Some of you have asked why I don't take medication and others are probably wondering.  I'm very anti-drug.  My mom is the same way, so maybe I get that from her.  I don't know.  But I went to a psychologist during a very bad time in my life and he taught me alternative ways to deal with the depression.

First of all I exercise.  5 days a week for about 30 minutes a day on the elliptical machine.  (This has had the added benefit of helping me to keep off most of the 50 lbs I lost a few years ago!)  Exercise is good.  And while I did exercise yesterday morning, sometimes it just isn't enough.

I also learned to meditate -- well, I'll call it that for lack of a better word.  He gave me lots of relaxation tapes to listen to.  To this day I still try to start my day by calmly laying in my bed and thinking about the upcoming day.  Which brings me to my next coping mechanism. . .

Routines!  Routines are key for me.  I have a loose schedule that I stick to pretty much every day.  You could call me a planner.  I like to know what will be happening each day before I get out of bed.  Ask Pete, he's probably sick of hearing me say "What's the plan."  But it works for me.

So that's that.  I'm coping.  It's a never ending battle, but I'll continue to fight it.

Sad

Sigh.

I suffer from depression and I do not take medication. I've been this way since I was a child, so at this point in my life I'm pretty adept at dealing with it. It's cyclical and I can usually feel it coming on. I can try to cut it short, head it off. Mind over matter kind of stuff. But today I'm having one of those days where I can almost feel myself being locked into place. I know what to do but instead I'm sitting here doing nothing. I'm in it's grip.

There is no telling what brought this on. It can be anything really. It's never about anything anyway. Just a random release or lack of release of certain chemicals in the brain. I try to hold onto that thought -- as if to disassociate myself from what is actually happening to me.

So I just told Maddie to go get her shoes. I know that if I get up. . .move. . . do something. . . I'll start to pull myself up out of this deepening and widening hole. It's a gorgeous fall day here. Maybe a walk in the fresh air will get the chemicals flowing as they should.

I hope. . .